“ It’s church, you’re reading from the Bible, it’s not like you can make something up. Not like you can get the first line then ad lib. “A letter from Peter to the Apostles … uh … Dear Apostles … How was your weekend? Sure is hot here. Tell Jesus, “Hey.” This is the word of the Lord.

— Jim Gaffigan (via soulofarmor)

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dick(s) in my ass hole.